Run Toward Oncoming Traffic
When you walk or run on a road without a sidewalk, you’re supposed to run toward oncoming traffic. For new runners, this sometimes feels uncomfortable. It was for me at first. I was used to driving and biking on the right side of the road, so it seemed to make sense to run that way too.
Here’s why it’s better. If a car is driving dangerously close to the side of the road, you won’t be able to see it coming if they’re behind you. When you run toward oncoming traffic, you can be ready to dive into the poison ivy if a car is heading your way. Of course, this rarely happens. Almost always, people drive safely. But if there’s trouble on the way, you want to see it coming. That way, you can do something about it.
Perhaps we should take this same approach with family communication. It’s better to be proactive—to head into traffic. Just like with people driving cars, most of the time, families are positive and supportive, but if there’s trouble coming, it’s better to see it so we can do something about it.
A Story Comes to Mind
One year, I got my class list for the upcoming year, and I was nervous about a family I’d be working with. The parents had clashed with several teachers at our school in previous years. So, when I saw Lisa’s name on my class list for the coming year, I was worried. I gained a better understanding of their perspective through an early year activity. I always started each year by having students articulate a few “hopes and dreams” for the coming year. What were some skills they wanted to develop? What were some academic and social goals they had for themselves? I also invited parents to share some their hopes and dreams for their child that year as well. What did they hope their student’s school year would be like?
This family’s response to that prompt blew me away. Most parents responded with a few sentences or a few bulleted notes. Lisa’s parents wrote a letter—the most thoughtful and articulate letter I received in my 15 years in the classroom. It gave me a clearer understanding of their perspectives and priorities for their child.
At the end of the letter, they thanked me for the opportunity to share their thinking and asked that I reach out to them anytime. Several times that year, I took them up on their offer, checking in when I wondered if they’d be troubled by an activity we were about to do.
We had a wonderful year together, and I don’t ever remember a time that Lisa was excused from any classroom activity. I also never had any kind of contentious or tense interactions with her parents. They were supportive and lovely all year long.
A Few More Ideas
Having parents share their hopes and dreams early in the year is just one way to be proactive with families. Here are a few others to consider:
- Explain your discipline system: Parents can be caught off guard if/when their child experiences a logical consequence and it seems to come out of the blue. Take time early in the year to explain to families how you develop rules with the class and how consequences are an important part of a positive discipline system.
- Weekly newsletter: Send a simple and short newsletter to families each Friday. Give them a few bulleted news items from the week so they know what you’re working on. Include a quick look ahead at anything that’s coming that they might want to know about. If a weekly newsletter seems too much, send one once every two weeks. Put a reminder on your calendar so you don’t forget. Keep a working draft open on your computer so you can add ideas easily.
- Reach out with positive news: Here’s an idea shared by a school administrator I work with. Take the time to contact families to share their child’s successes and accomplishments. You’ll pave the way for more positive and productive tough conversations later if you first build a positive base.
- Invite families to contact you early with questions or concerns: Let families know that they should reach out to you right away if they have questions or concerns. Encourage them to be proactive so you can work on issues before they snowball.
Be proactive with families. Run toward oncoming traffic and you’ll be much less likely to get into an accident.
To read more reflections about what running can remind us about teaching and learning, click here. You can connect with me on Strava here.
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