Finding Time for a One-on-One Problem-Solving Conference
You’ve got a student who is really struggling. Almost every day during math, he’s disrupting students nearby. You want to sit down with him for a problem-solving conference to figure out what’s going on. Maybe the two of you can put your heads together and figure out a solution to try. But when are you supposed to do this?
So, when he gets dysregulated and disruptive, you send him to the counselor or assistant principal, because you don’t know what else to do. But this isn’t working. In fact, things seem to be getting worse. You want to help your students who are struggling, but when can you do this during a packed school day? Even finding time for a 5–10-minute conversation feels daunting.
Some Benefits of a One-on-One Problem-Solving Conference
First, let’s remember a few benefits of a one-on-one problem-solving conference, and why you should facilitate these instead of outsourcing them to administrators or counselors.
You Understand the Situation
You’re the best person to help your student because you’re the one who’s actually there when they’re melting down. You have as much information about what’s happening and what’s leading up to the challenge as anyone. When a counselor gets a kid in their office after they’ve been sent down by a teacher, how are they supposed to know what’s really going on? An upset 12-year-old arrives at their door. They ask, “What’s going on?” The student likely responds with some version of, “I don’t know. I wasn’t doing anything. Mr. Anderson just hates me. He kicked me out of class for no reason!”
How can a counselor or administrator possibly sort out what’s really going on when they weren’t there when the issue was happening?
You’re the One Who Will Need to Follow Through on the Solution
Let’s say that the counselor does somehow sort out the gist of the problem. Your student is able to articulate that when they get frustrated during math, they get so mad that they start bugging people nearby. The counselor offers the idea of taking a break when frustration starts to build. “What if you go get a drink of water when you start to get upset? Then you can calm yourself down before you hit ‘code red’?” Your student agrees to try this solution.
Are you okay with it? What if you worry that going to get a drink of water will only further disconnect your student from their math work? It just gives them another avoidance strategy that will make it hard to push through and get some math done.
If you outsource the problem-solving conference, the solution might not be one you’re comfortable with. You now either need to follow through on the plan against your better judgment or tell the student and counselor that you’re not okay with it, which may damage (both of) their trust in you.
You Want to Be the One to Build a Relationship with Your Student
One of the incredible side benefits of problem-solving conferences is that even when they don’t yield a productive outcome (which is not uncommon), they’re a chance to build a stronger relationship with your student who is struggling. You get to position yourself as someone who is trying to help them overcome an obstacle. They start to see you as a go-to person when they’re feeling upset.
I was working in a middle school recently, and the assistant principal said that he and the principal have the strongest relationships with the 8-10 toughest kids in their school because teachers send these kids to the office. “They’re great kids,” he smiled, “and I enjoy working with them, but I’m not the one who should be building relationships with them.”
You don’t want to be in the situation where kids want to go see the counselor or principal when they’re getting dysregulated. Now they may actually try to get out of class when they’re feeling upset, because folks in the office are the ones who help them deal with problems.
Finding Time for Problem-Solving Conferences
You’d love to have these conferences, but when do you have time to sit down and help a student think about a problem and come up with solutions? Here are a few ideas to consider.
*Important Note: Before we get into when you might have a conference, there’s one time you should not have a conference: in the heat of the moment. If your student is upset, they’re not going to be able to think rationally. Chances are, you’re upset as well, so you’ll be too emotional to have the patience needed for a good chat. Plus, you’ve got a class to teach. You need to keep your attention and energy focused on students who are ready to learn during class time. If the kid is getting dysregulated, you might have them grab a book and read quietly in the back of the room for a few minutes. Or you might have them head to the counseling office—but only to calm down, not to talk through the problem. All of the following suggestions are about finding times to chat once you and your student are calm and have time to talk.
Have a Lunch Chat
Could you invite the student in for a lunch chat? You can both grab something to eat and sit in a quiet room to discuss the challenge. A benefit of eating lunch together is that the actual eating gives you each something else to do as you chat, which can bring down the emotional heat of the conversation. It allows for eye contact to be less frequent and intense and can even give you each something else to comment on amidst the conference. (“Is that PB&J? That’s a classic. Do you go for grape or strawberry jelly?”)
Mix in a Problem-Solving Conference During Academic Conferences
Another time that can work is during academic work periods. Let’s say that during a writing period you’re going to have writing conferences with students. Could you slide in a social conference? If you have time to meet with five students during the writing block, have four writing conferences and one social conference.
Try Before or After School
You might call or email a parent or caregiver and ask them to bring the student in early one morning or to pick them up a bit later one afternoon. These chats shouldn’t be very long (5-10 minutes is a good ballpark), so you won’t need tons of before or after school time. When I’ve done this, I’ve noticed that students’ energy for a conference is often different when it’s held outside of the school day. They seem to take the talk more seriously and to be less defensive.
Have an Administrator or Counselor Take Your Class for a Few Minutes
At a middle school I was consulting in a few years ago, teachers were struggling to find time to have problem-solving conferences with students. The principal let them know that he’d be happy to watch their class for a few minutes so they could have a chat with a student. He explained that one way or the other, he would be spending time when kids were struggling. Instead of him being the one to try to find a solution with a student, he knew that teachers were the right ones to do this. So, he told teachers to teach the main part of the lesson and then he’d come in for 10 minutes to help kids as they worked.
None of these times are perfect. They all require you to give up a bit of time you planned for something else—a quiet lunch break, a bit of planning in the morning, an academic conference with another student. But, remember, these chats should be short. When they yield a productive solution—when students have a more positive way to deal with a challenge—they will save you so much time in the long run.
There are plenty of other strategies to try to help kids who are being disruptive, but problem-solving conferences are the ones that often help solve tough problems. And remember, even when they don’t result in a great solution, there’s still a benefit. The student sees you taking time to work with them and to try to help them out. This matters. They start to trust you just a little more, and your relationship with them strengthens. This is time well-spent, and in my experience as an educator, it is one of the most powerful teaching strategies I’ve ever seen.
Do you have any other ideas for times to have a one-on-one problem-solving conference with a student? Please share them in the comment section below!
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Some folks have added some ideas on X: confer early in the morning/period when your energy is fresh, connect and confer during home visits, during HS/MS sports (in the stands), and right before you pull a small group during a stations activity.